Loss

For those of you who may not have heard, my family has suffered two great losses in the past week. My cousin passed away unexpectedly on Nov. 11. He left behind a wife and two teenage children. He was such an amazing man and very involved in the community.

Then as if that weren't bad enough, my father in law passed away on Nov. 13. My family is just devastated. Jason and I flew out in the middle of the night on Tuesday to be with his mom and sister, and to help in any way we could. This is all just so surreal, I keep thinking I'm going to wake up any second and it will all have just been a horrible dream. My heart is so heavy.

Jason is doing ok, as well as can be expected at this time. He and his dad were VERY close. Not only father and son, but best friends too. And since I've been with Jason since I was 14 years old I feel like I've lost a father too. I know I couldn't have loved that man any more if he WERE my dad, and we could always count on him for advice and counsel. He would do anything for his kids and grandkids. The world is a little poorer without my father in law in it.

The kids are doing ok too. Kaitlyn is fairly oblivious to the whole thing, which is good but then again makes me sad because she won't really remember her Papa. I will do my best to help her "know" him through pictures and stories. The boys are taking it rough, especially Austin. They shared so many similarities and Austin felt an extra special bond with his Papa. For the most part the boys are doing well with it, but they do have their moments when they think of things and it hits them.

I am doing my best to be the strong one and hold things together while our world is being turned upside down. I know it will be very hard for a very long time, but I am doing my best to put my fears and sorrows in God's hands and let Him comfort me and give me strength. That's really all I can do right now.

I appreciate all the kind words, thoughts, and prayers that have been sent our way in this horrible time. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing network of friends who care about me and are there for me in good times and bad. So thank you for that.